Inner Space HypnotherapyHypnotherapy, BWRT®, Life & Stress Coaching in Milton Keynes

Latest Blog/Articles. Feel Less Stressed 2019

A New Beginning

January – a new beginning, a chance to start again. How is it going already? Have you made any New Year Resolutions? Whatever you are trying to do, hypnotherapy can help you to achieve your goals with ease, getting your unconscious mind working for you, in the background. Automatic brain programmes run patterns at an unconscious level without us knowing it, so that we repeat the same old familiar patterns over and over, encouraging us to stay in our comfort zones. However, nothing changes until you change something. If you want to become better, stronger, emotionally resilient, calmer, more confident, give up smoking, lose weight, beat stress, or anything else you set your heart on, you need to push the boundaries and stretch yourself, stepping over the “you” that’s holding you back. A clear defined goal is the first step, add in mental rehearsal and sprinkle on a bit of creative visualisation, and you are almost there. Seal it with hypnosis and watch your success manifest before your eyes. Don’t wait for another year to go by. Get in touch and let’s have a chat to see how I can help you.

Programme Your Mind For Success

New Year's Resolutions or Goal Setting - What's the point?

At this time of year, goals and ambitions come to mind. Most people think about what they would like to achieve in the next 12 months. Last year has gone and it’s a new chapter in the book of your life. With a new beginning there is a certain energy, motivation and enthusiasm for a fresh start. That energy for beginning something can soon diminish unless some real planning is put in place. Creating a structure for that plan harnesses the energy and gives it something to latch on to. But what’s the point of all of this? Why bother to set goals and make plans? Why not just carry on as before?

Failing To Plan is Planning To Fail

There are only three questions that need to be answered. The answers give you all the information you need to achieve your goals. The first question is what do you want to achieve? The second question is what’s getting in the way of you achieving the success you want? The third questions is what will it be like when you have reached your target?

Goals need to be SMART – specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and timely.

Your personal obstacles to success may take the shape of unconscious beliefs, thoughts, behaviour, attitude or environment. Some of these could be:

  • Psychological: Laziness; self-sabotage; negative attitude; self-doubt; lack of self discipline; mindlessness.
  • Beliefs: Out-dated or unhelpful ideas about life, family, health, your abilities.
  • Behaviours: Unhelpful habits; conditioned responses.
  • Thoughts: Internal dialogue might be critical; self downing; unrealistic expectations; perfectionism.
  • Environment: Following the crowd; spending time with the wrong type of people.
  • Skills: Time management; problem solving; relaxation; effective planning.

    What is your vision of success? How do you see yourself? What will you be doing? What will you be feeling? Who is there with you?

    The intention is where you begin. Success is the destination. There could be many different ways to get to where you want to go. You might want to take the fast road or the scenic route. The journey might be more important than the destination. It all depends on how you look at it.

    The Blueprint for Success Can Be Programmed into Your Mind

    What are the ingredients of success?

  • SMART Goals;
  • Effective communication (with self and others);
  • Time management;
  • Planning ahead;
  • Problem solving abilities;
  • Self discipline;
  • Delayed gratification;
  • Taking responsibility/ownership of your problems;
  • Willingness to change;
  • Openness to challenge;
  • Vision.


    Motivation comes from reward or punishment, moving towards something or getting away from something. Some people like to have a carrot, others like the stick. The thing that motivates you gives you that push you need. If the goal is weight loss, for example, the carrot might be looking and feeling great, wearing your favourite clothes, having energy and zest for life, feeling attractive and at your best. The stick might be the fear of becoming really unhealthy, unfit and unable to do the things you like to do, feeling unattractive, becoming even heavier and having to buy even bigger clothes. Each one (carrot or stick) brings with it thoughts, feelings and images. The one that creates the most powerful feelings is usually the one that will motivate you more.

    The excuse I hear most often is “I haven’t got the time”. We all have 24 hours in the day and we do what we want or need to do. Work takes priority for most people. If this is the case we have to look at balance. Work/life balance is crucial for health and when life is unbalanced something will eventually give. The signs of an unbalanced life might manifest as stress, physical illness, anxiety, depression or in the worst case complete physical and mental breakdown.

    If a balanced life was a circle and it was divided into parts it might look like a piechart divided into three: Work/Study; Personal Growth; Relationships.

    In reality, for many people work often takes up more time than anything else in a day. 24 hours might be broken down into 10 hours work, 8 hours sleep, and there are six left for personal growth and relationships. Personal growth includes things like self knowledge, developing a positive attitude, identifying our values and updating our belief systems. We all have inherent strengths and weaknesses and knowing what these are is a basis to improvement. Personal growth is a continuous path throughout life and if it becomes stagnant we can feel stuck, in a rut, on a treadmill or for some in a comfort zone.

    Fear can be one thing that gets in the way of expansion. Many people have an idea that they want freedom, yet the ultimate freedom brings ultimate personal responsibility for your life. Fear of the unknown is a common barrier to growth. We often find ourselves in a comfort zone and don’t want or desire to break out from this place where we feel safe. If we want to grow personally, we need to challenge the boundaries we place around ourselves and stretch out beyond them. It might mean working harder, getting up earlier, helping others more, learning a new skill, or examining our relationships. Some relationships are toxic and some activities and behaviours are destructive. Are we a good role model or are we modelling ourselves on someone else? Are we living in the shadow of an overbearing parent and always trying to prove that we are good enough. Self challenge might highlight that we are actually doing very well and deserve to acknowledge our success. On the other hand it might be that we work too hard and neglect other areas of our life. We need to question where our identity lies and what is the major driver behind the way we live.

    Ultimately we need to become mindful of what our priorities are. There will come a time when it’s all over.

    Beginnings and ends are inevitable. What we do in the middle is up to us.

    Death-Bed Regrets

    According to Susie Steiner in her article in the Guardian on 1 February 2012, the top 5 death-bed regrets are listed below (extract):

    (1) I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

    "This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

    (2) I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

    "This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

    (3) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

    "Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

    (4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

    "Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

    (5) I wish that I had let myself be happier.

    "This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

  • Latest Blog/Articles. HotAirBalloon

    What Next?

    Establishing a well balanced life needs a bit of self examination. Setting goals and reviewing them on a regular basis will help to keep us on track. Ultimately, life is like a sand timer, there are only so many grains of sand left:

    So, the point of all of this becomes clear. We only have one life at a time, and it’s up to us to make it matter.

    Hypnotherapy can help with self examination, personal development and goal setting.

    Why not put yourself first for a change? Click here to send me a message Let me help you to achieve those goals!

    ©2019 Mary Bowmer is powered by WebHealer
    Cookies are set by this site. To decline them or find out more visit our cookie page