Inner Space HypnotherapyHypnotherapy, BWRT®, Life & Stress Coaching in Milton Keynes

More Articles #01

Know your Inner Self

I believe that being true to yourself is crucial to happiness. Do you know what being true to yourself is all about? Your “self” can be defined as your “inner self”, not necessarily the “self” you portray to the world. Take a moment to think about your inner self and how you may sometimes unconsciously fall out of alignment with the real you. You may get a gut feeling that something isn't right, or you may have physical feelings like butterflies in the stomach or tension in some part of your body.

"Know yourself and you will win all battles" - Sun TZU "

Finding your inner self

Before embarking on any car journey we usually take an inventory of what we have got – do we have enough petrol in the car? Is there water in the engine? Are the tyres ok? Have we got our navigation system in place and do we know where we want to go? These are things we take for granted. We automatically make sure these things are in place. Yet, the most important part of the whole journey is you – you are in the driving seat, you are directing the navigation system and you are making the choice of where to go. It’s easy to plan a journey when you have the right equipment, the right maps and the right destination in mind. Let’s take a look at the driver.

Journey to the centre of yourself

Embarking on an Inner Self journey is just the same – what about doing an inventory on yourself? How we define ourselves is the first question – what makes us tick? What are our values, our beliefs? Which parts of our lives are flowing and what parts are stuck? What makes us happy/sad? Our name and occupation don’t give any clues as to who we really are. Sometimes we just take ourselves for granted without question.

How do we know what we value the most in life? some people might say "it's my family, or it's my freedom" others might say "absence of pain" or "being an individual". When we know what we value most, it begins to create a structure, a framework around who we are. By identifying all these different aspects of our lives we can map out a definition of who we are, showing us in a true light without hiding behind the shadow of a mask. This definition, or map, could be purely for our own interests and insights – after all, nobody else has to see it. However, we could use this as the basis for things we would like to change about ourselves, in order to become more authentic.

How do you define yourself?

Defining ourselves is the first step to living a life where we feel in total alignment. Sometimes our energy can be drained away if we are keeping up the pretence of being something we are not. It must take a lot of energy to keep your inner self hidden.

Do you remember "Where's Wally"? Wally is a character in a series of children's books created by British illustrator Martin Handford. The books consist of a series of detailed double-page spread illustrations depicting dozens or more people doing a variety of amusing things at a given location. Readers are challenged to find this character called Wally hidden in the group. Wally's distinctive red-and-white striped shirt, bobble hat, and glasses make him slightly easier to recognise, but many illustrations contain “red herrings” involving deceptive use of red-and-white striped objects. Just as Wally hides amongst the faces and places, is your Inner Self hiding amongst the many different aspects of you that you like to portray to the world? Sometimes the roles you play are red herrings” - and one or several aspects of the real person is hiding behind a mask.

Be Yourself

You could just accept yourself for who you are, “Just be yourself”. There is some truth in that but without putting any meaning behind that statement it’s just good advice. Do you know what it means to live a life that is true to yourself? What if you are making decisions based on who you think you should be? Unfortunately this is often the case and it's not uncommon for a person to have a career based on what their parents or teachers expected of them.

When things don’t work out we may be confused as to why, and start beating ourselves up, ruminating over and over as to where we went wrong. We may feel a failure in some areas of our lives. We can feel we are not capable of change or out of control.

Inner Vision

Who we are is not about what we do, where we work, what our hobbies are or how rich and famous we are (or not as the case may be). All of these factors are just expressions of the person we believe we are. They are like waves on the surface of the ocean that are controlled from a powerful force below. That force is our Inner Self. How we see ourselves has a powerful impact on how we act and behave. Are you happy with your vision of yourself and your future? Do you like what you see?

I often hear people say how they live for the holidays and long weekends where they can recharge their batteries and find some time for themselves. What if they could change that model of living and get off the rollercoaster of ups and downs where life dictates how they are feeling from one day to the next? It’s not about luck, or about intelligence, or about how charming you are or how you look on any given day. It’s not about being in the right place at the right time. It's about realising that the right place and the right time is here and now. It's about taking action.

Action Time

For a moment, just imagine a beautiful carved wooden box, full of your beliefs, values, your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes, habits, passions, doubts, hang-ups, your hopes and dreams. Now many of these will be wonderful, positive aspects of yourself that you are completely happy with. However, there may be some things in the box that are not so great –like “a constant feeling of being overwhelmed” – this may look like a grey cloud on top of your head, or “my desk is always a mess”, or “I will never lose weight”. Or how about some project you keep putting off - a mountain to climb? Your mind may conjure up some image of what this might look like if it were an object inside the box.

Declutter and sort

A good way to declutter and sort out the box is to take one thing at a time and look at it from every angle, inside and out, and identify the things you could do to make something happen, to make your life more rewarding and more fulfilling.

If you don’t have enough inner peace, inner focus and inner direction with real meaning in your life, do you know how to get it or even what it would look like if you did have it?

Hypnotherapy and NLP

Hypnotherapy and NLP can help you to change all that. Using a combination of therapies and techniques, you can learn to identify the parts of you that you are completely happy with and the parts of you that you may wish to change. By uniting all the parts of yourself you can begin to feel in total alignment with your inner self, thereby releasing an amount of energy that you can use to focus on other things.
November 2012

Technical Genius - Not

December 2012 top of page
I have never been good at technical things. My mind would just cloud over and I wouldn’t even be able to read the instructions – that’s just the way it was. It wasn’t even really a problem because all I had to do was ask my husband or one of my kids to put something together for me, or show me what to do on Facebook, or sort my computer out. Then I decided to have a website for my hypnotherapy practice and of course there was no way on earth I would attempt to even contemplate doing it myself. I rang a few companies, got some quotes and was shocked at how much it cost. Then one of my son’s friends offered to do it for me – I was over the moon! After a 4 hour meeting of us discussing exactly what I wanted, we were off… all I had to do was send him the content. I worked diligently for a week and sent him the first batch and waited. I heard nothing for a few days so contacted him again to see how it was going. Then came the news that he got a new job, starting straight away and wouldn’t be able to help me until nearer to Christmas. I was happy for him about the new job but my heart sank – I had the goal of going live by 1 December and that was less than a month away. And then something inside me said – “I’ll do it myself”. Another part of me said “Yeah right - I’m useless at that sort of thing”. Then we had a chat and between us, found another part of me that was good at planning things. We came up with a few ideas. My planning voice said “Imagine how you will feel when you have achieved creating your own website ” So I started to imagine it. I thought about how proud I would be of myself, how amazed my family would be at me doing something technical. I could see everybody smiling. I began to get excited. So, we (me and my little voices inside) decided to take it step by step.

Step 1 – talk to people. So I talked to lots of people I knew who had a website. Most of them had a designer and just sent them the information or changes to be uploaded.. No good for me. I eventually spoke to someone who had done it herself and she said it was easy. Hmmm! Step 2 – find an easy package. I talked to various companies who supplied a template and you did the rest. Some were friendly and helpful and some were not. Step 3 – make a choice. I found one I liked, signed up and off I went. I cleared my diary as far as possible so I could give this project all my attention. Then came the pages and pages of information – a folder full of instructions on how to do this, that and the other. How to format the text, how to add paragraphs, how to add images and so on. The old voice inside me said “oh shoot, what have I done taking this on”. I felt a bit sick in my stomach. Planning voice said “hang on a minute – just take it easy and read the first page”. Step 4 – make a start. So I started reading, and trying things out, and getting confused, and then working it out, until finally it began to make sense at last.

And so I carried on, painstakingly working for about 8 hours every day, becoming totally absorbed and getting excited as I saw my website taking shape. I was fuelled, I was driven, I was energised, I was passionate and I used all that energy to keep me going. Step 5 – keep up the momentum. Every day I was getting up at the crack of dawn, learning something new, thinking and talking about nothing else apart from my website. My husband was great and supported me throughout, sometimes coming home to no dinner, the house a mess and me still sitting down working on my laptop. Step 6 – reach the finishing line. After 2 weeks my website was ready. Inner Space Hypnotherapy was born. Today is the day I go live. It’s the most exciting thing ever, like waking up on Christmas morning. I am so proud of what I have achieved and I have done all by myself, a week before the deadline. Step 7 – enjoy the feeling of success! That bit is sweet and I am so going to enjoy it. Of course it will be an ongoing thing now, and I can just add bits and pieces whenever I want. The good thing is I can do any changes myself, easily and without any doubts clouding my mind. Step 8 – identify the lesson I learned. I learned how to harness the passion within me, and use it to achieve my goal. Success! This is my first blog, all I have to do now is find out how to put it on my website – no problem!

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